Navigating the messy middle between control and curiosity, fear and freedom, surrendering to the unknown while standing in leadership.

I’m sitting in that space right now—the in-between. 

You know the one. 

The space where nothing is settled, and everything feels on the verge of either crumbling into chaos or clicking into place like the final piece of a puzzle. 

It’s where control, once so comforting, slips through your fingers like sand, and surrender feels elusive, like chasing a whisper in the wind. You reach for it, but it’s never quite in your grasp.

I’m here, right now, lingering in the cracks between what was and what could be. And for the first time, I’m allowing myself to stay. 

Not to rush through it, not to push past it but to sit. 

To feel the weight of uncertainty and still trust the unfolding.

There’s a version of me—the wise one, the CEO, the Queenmaker—who knows that surrender is the path forward. She’s been here before, guiding others through their own in-betweens, transforming breakdowns into breakthroughs. She’s seen it all, held space for others to bloom, watching with calm eyes as things fell apart only to be rebuilt stronger. 

She walks with grace, sure of her steps even when the ground shakes beneath her. She understands that navigating the seasons of a feminine entrepreneur requires more flow than force.

But then there’s the other version of me—the girl who craves certainty, who reaches out to grasp something solid. The one who wants to know now. 

Who wants to freak out about the money, the shifting plans, the not-yet-realized vision. 

The part of me that feels the urge to scream, "What if this falls apart? What if this wasn’t the right move? What if there’s nothing waiting for me on the other side?"

The truth is, I’m learning to hold them both. 

The wise leader and the curious kid. 

The part of me that knows how to trust, and the part of me that trembles in the face of the unknown.

Surrender Isn’t Easy, But It’s the Only Way Forward

Here’s what I’ve discovered: surrender isn’t passive. 

It’s not about lying down and waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about standing in the center of the storm, arms wide open, knowing you can’t control the winds, but trusting you won’t be swept away. 

It’s about saying, “I trust,” even when the skies are dark and there’s no proof that the sun will rise.

And trust me, I’m in that space right now—in-between shifting my business model, stepping out of the 1:1 coaching world, and stepping into something new that feels deeply aligned but still uncertain. 

I’ve spent years building a 1:1 coaching model, at one point navigating up to ten clients simultaneously. The hustle, the energy drain—it all caught up to me. My body and soul were screaming for change. 

So, I started releasing that work earlier this year, cutting back, making space. And now, here I am, finally honoring the truth: I’m done with that model.

But stepping out of the familiar is terrifying. 

As much as I know I’ve outgrown the 1:1 except for my VIP Days, I still find myself questioning, "What’s next? What if this new direction doesn’t work?"

Instead of clinging to the old, I’m choosing to trust. 

I’m giving myself permission to linger in this space between full release and full creation. 

I’m finally admitting I’m a nerd—a researcher at heart. 

I love to learn, distill the bullshit, and share it in a way that cuts through and lands with people like never before. 

Like when I recently spoke at The Condor Approach in Austin, TX, where I talked about intuitive strategy through Human Design and feminine frameworks. Afterward, I was met with responses like, "I’ve learned Human Design before, but I’ve never had it land like this,” and, "I made one minor change you gave me, and I’m already seeing phenomenal results."

That’s my zone of genius—speaking, simplifying, sharing. So why not lean into it?

Curiosity Has Become My Compass—It’s Leading Me Where I Need to Go

Curiosity has become my companion in this season, the antidote to all the fear that bubbles up. 

It’s that childlike wonder, the part of me who isn’t interested in doing things the “right” way or waiting for the perfect plan. 

She just wants to explore, to ask, “What would happen if?”

And this is where things start to feel fun. 

What would happen if I created those Human Design podcourses I’ve been dreaming about? 

What would happen if I just started talking about them? 

No perfect strategy, no overthinking—just letting the ideas flow. 

What if I let people know, loud and clear, I’m ready to be seen: to speak on stages and appear on podcasts – not just as a guest hoping for exposure, but as someone speaking gigs that pay because it’s time?

I’ve been paid to speak before. I know the power of being on stage and seeing ideas land in real time, seeing people shift before my eyes. But now, in this season of focusing on visibility, on manifesting being seen on bigger platforms, there’s an edge to it. 

There’s a thrill in asking, "What would happen if I showed up fully here?"

It’s an edge I’m finally ready to push.

Curiosity doesn’t demand a plan – it just asks me to take the step and trust that the ground will rise to meet me.

And I Know Messy Middle Is Where the Magic Happens – Even If It Feels Uncomfortable

But let’s be real: the in-between is messy as hell. 

One minute, I feel deeply connected to my purpose, ready to take the world by storm. 

The next minute, I’m questioning everything. Sometimes, it’s both at the same time.

Lately, I’ve been pouring myself into creating Human Design guides and podcourses, and the joy they bring me is undeniable. I lose myself in the process, that full-bodied kind of joy that rises up from the belly and fills every part of me. 

But then comes the question—the whisper in the back of my mind: “How is this going to make money?”

This is the surrender again—the part where I let go of needing all the answers right now. 

I know the work I’m doing is aligned. I know it will land. But can I trust that the pieces will fall into place?

Can I allow myself to be in the process, even when the end isn’t clear?

I’m Following What Feels Good, Even When the Path Isn’t Clear

Here’s what I’m learning: Pleasure isn’t just a reward. It’s a compass. 

It’s the thing that shows me where to go next, even when the path ahead isn’t fully visible. When I follow what lights me up, I find myself moving in the right direction, even when the “how” is still a mystery.

And joy, pleasure and happiness isn’t always found in the expected places. 

Sometimes, it sneaks up on you in the quiet moments—the stillness after a rich conversation, the satisfaction of watching someone get it, or the thrill of creating something new from the ground up.

Recently, speaking has become a deep well of joy for me. 

Whether it’s leading a group through a transformative conversation or engaging in intimate dialogues on my media platform, it’s where I feel my curiosity and leadership collide. 

Crafting those Human Design guides and podcourses has reignited a creative spark I didn’t know I was missing—taking all the knowledge I’ve gathered and distilling it into something tangible, something that can shift people’s lives.

And then there’s my media company—the space where I get to have real, unfiltered conversations about the feminine version of business and life.

I don’t know how to monetize it yet, and part of me knows that’s okay. 

It’s not meant to carry the weight of needing to support me financially—not yet. 

When someone asked me recently, "What were you selling when you launched your media company?" I laughed and said, "Nothing. I just wanted to create something beautiful for the world."

That’s where I am right now—doing what I love, trusting that the new realms of money will come in a way that breaks the rules of convention and tweaking current revenue streams for more sustainability, including honoring my limited energy as a projector.

Trusting the Process Means Letting Go of the Need for Guarantees

I’ve been in this space before – this season of uncertainty, of not knowing what’s next. 

And each time, I’ve emerged with more clarity, more wisdom, more connection to my purpose – from when I lost all my clients in 2020 in my freelance business to when I started my business in 2018 by quitting my job without any idea what I was doing – only a desire for something more, a decision to never go back, and a deadline to make it work someway, somehow. 

But this time, I’m not rushing through it. 

I’m allowing myself to feel the discomfort of not knowing, to sit with the tension of letting go of control. I’m trusting that there’s something sacred in this season—in the mess, in the curiosity, in the surrender.

Because here’s what I know for sure: the in-between is where growth happens.

It’s where you shed the old and make space for the new. It’s where you stop trying to hold it all and allow yourself to be held by something greater.

So here I stand, both the wise leader and the curious child, holding them both, letting them guide me through this messy, beautiful season. 

I’m not trying to fix it. 

I’m just here—trusting, surrendering, and letting the adventure unfold.

This Is My Invitation to You

As I sit in this in-between space, I invite you to join me. 

Let the unknown wash over you. 

Let curiosity pull you forward. 

Let the magic of surrender reveal the path. 

You don’t need to have all the answers right now. Sometimes, the greatest leadership comes from standing in the mess and saying, “I don’t know, but I trust.”

Let’s be brave enough to trust the spaces we’re in. Because the in-between? That’s where all the good stuff happens.

A Final Note

I haven’t written this column in a month because sometimes the commitments we make need to take a backseat for the new ones we’ve put in place.

I’ve been launching my media company, onboarding a new team member, shifting my business model, and accessible crafting podcourses and guides so you can finally see yourself the way I do – so you can know how to work with your intuitive strategy and shift your business to honor how you operate.

I’ll be releasing some special gifts to my email list only, so make sure you’re signed up for those announcements.

Obsessions with Your Success & Satisfaction,

Taylor Davis

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